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Separation Anxiety

It’s tough to handle. One day, you have a perfectly happy, social baby, who knows no strangers. The next day, she won’t tolerate anyone but you. Sometimes, not even her father. Its separation anxiety and it is perfectly normal. And, it’s temporary, so no need to fret.

Separation anxiety usually comes in two forms - daytime – meaning your child doesn’t like strangers and only wants you, and nighttime, when your child has restless sleep because of being separated from you.

Nighttime separation can be easier to alleviate, since there is not a fear of a stranger, just the fear of being away from you. If your child who used to sleep through the night starts waking up regularly at around one year of age, it’s probably separation anxiety. Try spending a little extra time with him/her just before bedtime, rocking, singing or cuddling. Give them your undivided attention for half an hour and you may find that they sleep better during the night. This is particularly important on days when they have been away from you most of the day.

Separation anxiety during the day is a combination of not wanted to be separated and a fear of strangers, even when the strangers aren’t really strangers at all. In particular, your baby probably raises quite a fuss when you decide to leave him with a sitter. One thing you need to realize is that this is partly a manipulation tactic, and partly just because he is so attached to you that he never wants you to leave. More than likely the crying stops the minute you are out of sight, because your little one realizes that there is no further point in crying, because his audience is gone.

There are a few things you can do to make this parting easier. The first is to always have the sitter come a little while before you have to leave. Not only does this give you a little time to get ready, but it allows the baby to get comfortable with his caretaker. The second and most important thing is to always say goodbye to your child. Trying to sneak out to avoid the fuss will only cause more harm in the long run. Your baby might come to think that you could leave at any moment with no warning. Thirdly, don’t make a long ordeal of leaving. Tell your baby goodbye, kiss him and remind him that you’ll be home soon and he’ll have fun with the sitter for a little while. Then leave. Don’t keep coming back in to calm him. Just leave. The longer you let it go on, the more hysterical he’ll become.

Separation anxiety generally lasts for a few months, and then fades away. It is a normal stage of development, and though it can be heart wrenching for you, it is a sign of healthy emotional development, because it is a sign of bonding. So, take a deep breath, and go on a date with your husband. It’s good for everyone involved!

To have separation anxiety is normal to be experienced by anyone; may it be an adult, a teenager, or a child. This feeling is basically a fear or worry of being separated from a certain person, thing, or place. For instance, a child may show unwillingness to let his parents leave him alone at school or a parent may feel doubtful to send his daughter or son away to boarding school. 

Overcoming Separation Anxiety

Most of the time, this type of social anxiety disorder is only temporary or short lived. However, when fear or anxiety becomes extreme, the condition is then categorized as Separation Anxiety Disorder or SAD. A person who has this type of anxiety disorder becomes extremely scared of being separated from the things or individuals that matter most to them. The fear is continuous and the feeling of social anxiety is intense. 

A person is diagnosed to have separation anxiety disorder when the symptoms for the said condition lasted for four continuous weeks. The following are the symptoms for SAD:

·         Excessive and persistent worrying about losing the person or object of attachment.

·         Repetitive nightmares on separation.

·         Recurring worries about being separated from the person or object of attachment.

·         Refusal to sleep without being near the object of attachment.

·         Excessive and persistent fear that a certain event will result to separation from the person or object of attachment.

In some cases, individuals who suffer from SAD are diagnosed to have other types of psychological disorders like panic disorder, ADHD, and bipolar disorder.

As for the cases of children, the parents are generally the first ones to notice if their children are suffering from SAD. A parent can easily determine if a child is suffering from separation anxiety disorder through the following signs:

·         Excessive closeness or attachment at home.

·         Zero desire to socialize or play with other kids at school or at the neighborhood.

·         Noticeable change in appetite.

·         Noticeable change in sleep.

Recent studies on SAD explain that there are a number of factors that trigger extreme anxiety on being separated from a particular object or person. These factors include genetics, environmental, family life, and biological. Genetics has a lot to do with SAD cases on children, for a child may inherit his or her parents’ extreme fear and anxiety of separation. It is possible for members of the family to pass on their condition to their children. In addition, a child may also develop SAD due to traumatic experiences, events, and affairs within the family.

Once a child is believed to have separation anxiety disorder, it is highly advisable for parents to have their children be seen and properly diagnosed by a doctor or a medical expert. As stated earlier, SAD may be a sign or symptom of other disorders, that is why having a correct diagnosis and immediate treatments are a must. Doctors generally recommend the young patients to undergo a series of psychiatric evaluations and tests to ensure a better future and health on the part of the children.

 

 

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